A letter to myself on cloudy days

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No one is ever always happy.

There are and there will be days when there’s a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right even though all is good on the surface,

It may be a feeling that you’re stuck in life when everyone is going full speed to their happy places.

Or it may be a quiet thought that you’re not as good as you think you are. I mean, otherwise you would have surely got that promotion, started that new business, earned lots of money, moved countries, bought a house where you can have two cats, wouldn’t you?

It may be just a realisation that you’ve not achieved as much as you hoped. And that you never will achieve much because just look around – it’s tough out there.

It may be that inner critic whispering all the what-ifs into your ear. What if it’s the best you’ll ever have? What if wishing for better is wishful thinking for a loser like you? What if you’re too ordinary to dream big?

It may be a small voice in your head, asking just one thing – tell me it will be alright.

It will, and you know it, but because you can’t quite grasp what’s so wrong that you feel so down and so you can’t fix something you don’t know is broken, you feel even worse – because not only is something wrong but you’re not in control to make it right.

You will meditate. You will try and reason with yourself. You will read self-help and inspirational books and drink wine. You will confide in close people. Some days you’ll think you’re better, other days you’ll think it’s hopeless. But eventually, the sun will shine.

I don’t have any tips how to quickly fix such states of mind. Patience is not my strongest quality, but maybe that’s exactly why dark and cloudy days happen – to teach me patience and to help me recalibrate my plans, hopes and dreams.

Because everyone gets stuck in life sometimes. Everyone.

Because I am as good I am and can be. Because “no” always means “not now” or “not here” or “not in this job” or “not with this person” when I continue to push for a “yes”.

Because I have achieved more than I could dream of 10 years ago. Because maybe last year has been slower exactly to give me a break before I will break new records of mine.

Because shut that inner critic up. Because only I set my limits. Because wishing for better is always the first step to make everything better. Because I’m not a loser. And because being ordinary doesn’t mean I can’t have extraordinary plans.

Because the answer to that small voice in my head is simple – it will be alright.

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